Hello and welcome here,
I’m Julie, you can find out more about me here.
For now welcome to a whole new world of possibilities!
The biggest mistake female widows make when they think about rebuilding their life is that they hold on to the past with such a grip of fear that it’s impossible to see a future for themselves.
This leads to feelings of unhappiness, frustration, anxiety, overwhelm, insignificance, self-doubt, inadequacy, loneliness, unloved, and disconnection. You don’t feel that you can be yourself because you don’t know who you are without your partner.
Life does not have to be this way if only you are willing to be open to possibilities.
My 25 years in business has taught me to bring happiness and fun into my everyday tasks. I have worked with and influenced 1000’s of women to change their mindsets and behaviours so they can enjoy their businesses and their lives.
Now after 5 years of widowhood I want to help even more women to build lives of choice that serve them, that make them happy and very comfortable with who they are.
Below you will see my 7 principles for you to build a life you love, even after loss, with real integrity and ownership of your true identity. YOU deserve a life you love…..
#1 Fun Seeking
Having fun is no joke!
I know that when you lose your loved one it can feel impossible, even insulting, that someone suggest you try and find some fun in your life. Surely if you were to do that it would be disrespectful, disloyal, abnormal, crazy etc etc
Truth is that grief is not linear, there will not suddenly be a day when seeking fun feels ok, when all the sadness disappears, when you never cry again or remember the great pain and emptiness you feel now. But here’s the thing. You are here, you are alive, breathing and living every precious day on this earth.
It is my belief and has been my strategy to recover and rebuild my life to introduce a few things that feel like fun every day. Even in the early days I would look out on nature and smile, watch the sun rise and smile, hug my kids and feel love, read a book to relax me. All these things and more are possible for you if you choose to allow yourself a little light relief.
So put your fun Hat on and see how you can lift your mood for just a moment at a time
What could you introduce today?
#2 Lifelong Learner
To EXCEL is another one of my principles for living a life of choice. Be a master of yourself, your thoughts, and your choices, be the best and practice, persistence and consistency will get you there. To be a master of anything takes focused input, curiosity, and an adventurous spirit.
Open up to learning every day of your life with a childlike curiosity. Lift the rock to see what lies beneath. Pull the curtain aside to see what waits behind it. Remember how it felt to be this way? Wear your curiosity Hat and try it and see what fun you can create in everyday life.
#3 Self Care
Here’s a fundamental principle that will save you from yourself. Any concept you have about sacrificing yourself for others is a path to burnout, tiredness and maybe depression. This includes people pleasing on a Global level. Social conditioning will have you behaving in ways that keep you stuck in the deep sorrow of grief. They will make you feel judged so you will behave in ways that keep you safe from that judgement. None of these behaviours are healthy or best for your recovery.
Come from a place of knowing you ‘deserve’ what you want. You put yourself first and look after yourself. Have fun and fill yourself up so you can be the ‘best you’ in everything you do.
Put your discovery Hat on, you can respectfully and fully grieve the loss of your loved one at the same time as living your best life. You only have now, to be stuck in the past or worrying about the future means you never enjoy the now. It’s all we really have.
Honouring your feelings, your loved one’s memory, the legacy you made together, the achievements you shared, the adversity you faced are all valid and can be celebrated without being drawn down into the depths of grief.
Incorporate these things into your self care, embrace and celebrate life, past and present.
Be ready to receive all that is yours. Be grateful and appreciative and watch that vibration run through your life, your work, your relationships, your health and your wealth. “It’s a feelings thing.”
#4 Dare To Be Different
Put your courage Hat on here, be amazing in your thoughts, words and actions. Choose to be fantastic, marvellous, and even odd. How about being surprising? Just be wonderful.
You see to be in the ‘sea of sameness’ is to be like a needle in a haystack; difficult if not impossible to find. You are your life!. So be all of you, don’t hide anything of your true identity to fit in or be accepted. You have been part of a pair, a couple, a partnership for some time, be that short or long, and now you are on your own.
You feel alone because you are now without that loved one but you came into the world alone and you will leave it that way. The partnerships we have, the people we love along the way are better viewed as blessings, joining for a purpose, but now it’s time to be you.
I know this feels scary, it’s the unknown, the unexpected, the unwanted, the unjust but it’s happened and here you are so, once again, you have a choice. I encourage you to wear the hat of courage and live your life in the now, the here and now.
To carry all the resentments and fears is a heavy load and will make you ill. So let go, be daring, be different.
You will be surprised what you find inside yourself when you allow it to shine.
Think of someone you admire and who you perceive to be living a valuable and happy life after loss. Are they being just like everyone else or are they shining brightly in the World, proud to be who they are?
#5 Evolve Immediately
EXPAND – expand beyond your comfort zone, just like the strong and powerful woman you are, go beyond the boundaries that exist at the thought of the prize that lies beyond, be brave and courageous in your seeking of joy. Find the warrioress inside you, wear the Hat of kindness and love here and allow yourself to grow with love in your heart.
When you learn something valuable, implement it fast. If you feel the change would serve your higher good and that of others, then do it now. Make the leap and choose to evolve immediately. Don’t wait around or allow your mind to talk you out of it. If it’s worth doing, then find a way to integrate the learning fast.
You do not need to do this alone, reach out to the community of women who love you, who understand where you are and what you might be feeling. Look for inspiration and support in the right places.
Procrastination will keep you stuck in the deep sorrow of grief, taking action releases you from that prison so you can see the sun rise again.
#6 Use Your Magic
Hocus, Pocus, Focus and watch the magic begin. Whatever you give focus to will manifest in your life. When you focus on what you need, food, water, warmth, comfort, money, do you find it?
What are you focusing on? The past? The problems you have. The way people treat you. The lack of control you have.
Here is the way to turn that around and find the magic.
Put your Magic Hat on here, focus on the lessons you are learning and implement the change. Look at your problems as opportunities to find the most amazing solutions. You cannot change other people or what has happened in the past so change your perception and attitude and lastly, it’s an illusion to think you can control anything so set your intentions and be flexible.
Have fun using your magic, the magic within, your wisdom is your magic.
#7 Pay It Forward
Be generous with your time and your love. When we embrace and celebrate life it feels so good to share that joy with others.
You are on your journey of recovery after loss, living your new life, your best life and however little you think you have to offer another who is suffering you have an abundance to share. The the empathy you can show, the encouragement you can give the hand holding you can offer is priceless.
We are not hear to be victims, to be fixed or rescued but to live a life of choice supported by others who are on the same mission. We get more done when we do this together.
watch how this energy and intention will come back to you tenfold. Share what you know, support others, pass on what you know and teach whenever you can.
Promote others, give testimonials, give praise, and give a hand up to those who are climbing the ladder behind you. Link people to people, collaborate and work together without fear of lack, for the world is an abundant place.
Be generous in your outlook and behaviour so that you pay all the good in the world forward, the law of attraction will bring more of this to you.